Why is it so damn hard to rest?
We’ve all seen it. The post on LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok extolling the virtues of hustling.
“I’m successful because I outwork the competition.”
Sure, hard work is important, but we’ve been programmed to think about hard work in terms of quantity, not quality. It’s the “wake up at 4 am, hustle until 9 pm, get a few hours of sleep and repeat,” badge of honor.
No vacations, no breaks, no rest.
The problem is, there is no evidence that perpetual hustle actually leads to better outcomes or performance. In fact, the opposite is true.
Why then, is it so hard to pause and nurture other parts of ourselves?
This weekend, we had the opportunity to participate in a spring equinox self-care retreat. It was a full-day filled with sound bathing, yoga, and forest bathing.
At the end, the group shared reflections on the day and a common theme arose–it is hard, even unsettling, to take time away from the things, like work, that we think we should be doing, but when we do take a pause, it is so restorative.
If you feel this way, you are not alone.
In fact, we’re both intimately familiar with this feeling. We got our start in politics where, like in many careers, the pace can be grueling and funneled us into career paths that were equally demanding (after working at the highest levels of politics, Molly went on to be appointed by Delaware Governor John Carney as Cabinet Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services in the throes of the COVID-19 pandemic and Matt started a strategic communications, public affairs, and political consulting firm.)
Of course, there were many days where long hours were simply necessary. Then there were other days where perhaps the “hustle” could have waited. Work culture and what we see presented as markers of success create a boiling cauldron of conflicted feelings around rest.
As we sat at the end of the retreat, the wind brushing the tops of the trees, sunlight dancing across the surface of the pond, many in the group shared about how good it felt to be present and to recharge and noted that unwinding complicated feelings around rest is a work in progress.
So, what if we treated rest as intentionally as we approach hard work?
There is a body of research that shows that rest does enhance leadership performance, creativity, and overall wellbeing.
Let’s get into it.
TL;DR: What the Research Says
Rest improves decision-making, emotional intelligence, and creativity.
Chronic exhaustion leads to poor judgment and reactive leadership.
True productivity comes from energy management, not hours logged.
Rest isn’t indulgent—it’s a leadership strategy.
Rest Sharpens Decision-Making
You know the feeling: too little sleep, too much caffeine, and a foggy brain trying to power through.
Science shows sleep-deprived brains operate like intoxicated ones. In one study, adults who stayed awake for two full days struggled to make moral and ethical decisions. Another found that judges were more likely to deny parole right before lunch—and more likely to grant it after a break.
Mental fatigue narrows our thinking. Breaks restore it.
If you wouldn’t sign a million-dollar deal after a few drinks, why make key decisions on four hours of sleep?
Emotional Intelligence Takes Energy
Tired brains are reactive brains. When we’re depleted, we misread emotions, lose patience, and default to defensiveness. One study found that people who pulled an all-nighter struggled to recognize basic facial expressions.
Now imagine a team member comes to you discouraged or frustrated. If you're exhausted, you may not notice. Or worse, you might take it personally.
Rest allows us to respond instead of react. It makes space for empathy. It helps us lead with calm, presence, and discernment.
The best leaders we work with don’t just recharge for themselves. They do it to show up better for their teams.
And more importantly, they model what a sustainable pace looks like. When leaders visibly prioritize rest and boundaries, it signals to their teams that it's not only acceptable to recharge—it's expected. This modeling fosters a culture of trust, balance, and high performance over time. Your team takes their cues from you.
Creativity Needs Breathing Room
Some of your best ideas have likely come in the shower, on a walk, or while staring out a window. That’s no accident.
Neuroscience calls this the incubation effect—your brain continues solving problems after you stop thinking about them. Breaks create the space for insight.
Top performers intentionally schedule time to move, reflect, or meditate—not because they’re lazy, but because they know ideas need room to breathe.
We do some of our best thinking on walks.
The Productivity Paradox: Work Less, Achieve More
It sounds counterintuitive, but working longer hours often makes you less productive.
Studies show output drops sharply after about 50 hours per week—and after 55, it becomes negligible. You’re essentially spinning your wheels.
Brief breaks throughout the day boost energy and focus. One meta-analysis found micro-breaks reduce fatigue and increase vitality. Walking to get coffee, stretching for 5 minutes, even closing your eyes for a few deep breaths—it all adds up.
In our experience, the most effective leaders manage their energy, not just their time.
Rest Is the Infrastructure of Great Leadership
Sleep. Breaks. Space. Stillness.
They’re not nice-to-haves. They are the foundation for better thinking, emotional regulation, creativity, and presence. Without rest, even the most talented leaders start to fray.
On the flip side, well-rested leaders are consistently rated as more effective, inspiring, and grounded. They think more clearly, communicate with more empathy, and make decisions that actually stick.
Rested leadership is sustainable leadership.
And it doesn’t just serve the leader—it shapes the culture. When teams see their leader prioritizing rest, it creates permission to do the same. This ripple effect can shift an entire organization from burnout-prone to energy-aware.
Making Rest a Habit, Not a Reward
So how do we practice rest—even when our minds resist?
Start small:
Schedule breaks like meetings.
Protect your wind-down time.
Build rituals that signal pause (tea, music, nature).
Take a breath before jumping into your next thing.
And most importantly:
Reframe rest as part of your leadership practice.
If you’re a high-achiever, this may feel unnatural at first. That’s okay. Rest is a muscle. It gets easier with use.
We tell our clients this all the time: You don’t have to earn your rest. You just have to allow it.
If you’re exploring what a more sustainable, deeply rooted leadership path could look like, we’d love to support you.
Send us a message if you want to chat!
Until then, give yourself permission to pause.
We’re right there with you.
Molly & Matt